My ATM looks so different sober.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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