Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
