I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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