It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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