Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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