I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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