Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize