Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
