So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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