Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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