Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
