Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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