Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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