Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
