...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Non-Jews are for practice
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
