I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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