o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
