How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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