Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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