You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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