She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
