He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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