oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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