At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
