she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
