The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
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