dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Green mimosas i think yes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
