What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
