mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
