i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
