She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
