Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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