I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
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He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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