I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
