remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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