Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He felt like a one man threesome
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
