btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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