No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
