I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
