dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
