My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize