I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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