I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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