i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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