I heard we made out
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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