The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
