$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
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I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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