I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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