If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
