the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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