Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
