We won't sleep together?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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