the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
