You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
