this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
