That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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