are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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