he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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