fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
