It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
