Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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