next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize