Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
