I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
