I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
