I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize