As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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