I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
