What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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