why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
