Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
