Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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